Getting pregnant in your 30s

There are all sorts of reasons why you may choose to have a baby in your 30s. You may have wanted to spend a few years building your career. Or perhaps it's taken you a while to find the right person to have babies with!

What are my chances of getting pregnant in my 30s?

Your chances are good. In the UK, most babies are born to women aged between 30 and 34.

It's worth knowing that it's much easier to get pregnant in your early 30s than your late 30s. So it's best not to wait too long before trying for a baby, especially if you want more than one child. About 20 per cent of women aged 35 will still be trying to conceive after a year of regular sex .

What are the pros and cons of having a baby in my 30s?

Pros

There are many advantages to becoming a mum in your 30s. You're more likely to be secure in your career and in your relationship. Both will provide a firm foundation for your growing family.

If you return to work, you're likely to be able to maintain your earnings well. Having babies earlier can reduce your earnings over your lifetime.

In terms of taking a break from work, you may have more flexibility than you would have in your 40s. Once you're over 40 it can be harder to interrupt a well-established career to have a child.

Hopefully, you and your partner will have had some adventures together before embarking on parenthood, the greatest adventure of all.

New mums in their 30s also have a lot of stamina and resilience, qualities that come in handy for parenting young children. Everyone's different, of course, but you're likely to know yourself better than you did when you were in your 20s. You're also likely to be more flexible than you will be in your 40s.

You may be able to complete your family in one pregnancy if you conceive in your 30s! You're more likely to have twins, even without the fertility treatments that raise the odds for multiple births.

 

Compare the figures, and you'll see how the chances of hearing the pattering of several tiny feet jumps:

• for mums in their 20s, one in 16 pregnancies results in twins
• for mums aged 35 to 39, one in five pregnancies results in twins

It's all in the hormones. Your levels of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), released during your menstrual cycle, increase as you age. When this hormonal surge occurs, there's a chance that you may release more than one egg, upping the odds of a multiple birth.

Cons

The good news is that you're very likely conceive naturally and have a healthy baby in your 30s. However, time does start to run out for you, especially after the age of 35, as the quality of your eggs declines.

In your early 30s, your chances of getting pregnant are only slightly lower than in your late 20s.

If you conceive when you're over 35, sadly, your chances of having a successful pregnancy are lower. Miscarriage rates do rise slowly but steadily in relation to age.

If you're a mum-to-be over 35 you are also more likely to experience complications with your pregnancy. These can include:

• an ectopic pregnancy
• placenta praevia
• a premature birth
• a low-birth-weight baby

Age 35 is also the point when Down's syndrome and other conditions become more of a concern. At 30 to 34 years of age, your chances of having a baby with Down's is about one in 1,200. When you're aged between 35 and 39, your chances rise to about one in 700.

All women are offered screening tests in pregnancy for genetic conditions, such as Down's syndrome. Your age will be factored in to the result to give you a risk of your baby having a problem. So you may find that if you become pregnant at this age or later, extra diagnostic tests may be recommended for you. These tests include:

• amniocentesis, which involves taking a sample of amniotic fluid from your uterus (womb)
• chorionic villus sampling, which involves taking a fragment of tissue from your placenta

We know that caesarean rates are also higher for women over 35. First-time mums this age have a 40 per cent chance of a caesarean delivery, compared to 14 per cent of first-time mums in their 20s.

What we don't know is why the caesarean rate is higher for older mothers. It could be partly because doctors tend to assume older mums need more care, even if their pregnancy is going well.

If you find you need help to conceive a baby, it's also better to start in your early 30s. Treatments, such as donor insemination and IVF, are more successful in women aged between 30 to 35 years.

What can I do to get pregnant now?

Age aside, there are steps you can take to give yourself the best chance for a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby. Read our tips to help you prepare for pregnancy.

If you are 35 years or under and have been having regular sex for a year, without getting pregnant, it’s time to see your GP. She can carry out blood tests to see if there are any medical reasons why you are not conceiving . If you're 36 years or over, you do not have to keep trying for a year before you see your GP , as the sooner you seek help the better.

Some medical problems can make it harder to conceive. See your doctor sooner rather than later if you're trying for a baby and you have or have had:

• irregular periods
• polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)
• sexually transmitted diseases

Your and your partner should also see your doctor sooner if your partner has a known fertility problem

Culled from babycentre.co.uk

Am not pregnant, what do I do?

Pregnancy is a much talked about topic, when should a couple be troubled about getting pregnant. A girlfriend told me  a friend of hers was worried after waiting a year to conceive and I was like, what the hell? why the rush? then she made me understand, her friend is in her 30s and you know its not easy carrying a baby in your 30s, talkless of 40s.

I read a writeup recently of a lady who badly wanted to conceive, so she always had sex with her husband everyday, she got lucky and conceived, but its not as easy as that. Am not an expert in this, but I will say something.

1. Put your mind at rest

A baby will come at the right time, everyone is not the same, take time to enjoy yourself, you can go on vacations, just make sure you have a nice time. When a baby comes your life changes completely.

2. Are you ready

Have you asked yourself the question, Am I ready? financially, emotionally, physically? pregnancy takes its toll on your body, it takes charge of your body, its different in every woman, the pains, the fatigue, tiredness, everything. Are you ready for all that, you become fat, your clothes do not size you anymore, your tummy becomes big, so you need to do lots of exercises to go back to your previous shape.

If you are ready for all these, then you are ready for it, but when do you think the ideal time is. after a year of waiting, two years or even six months.

 Do share your thoughts 

We want to be Heard

Am a woman, I want to be listened to, I want my voice heard, am not a moron, I am not dumb, is that all you think about these days? Then you are not the only one walking in those shoes. Its annoying when men speak especially in corporate organizations and your views are frowned upon.

Women are not all about fashion, food and kids, we are more than that. its annoying when men are treated as if they are better than us. Are we not all created in the image of God. God is not a respecter of anybody, so why the preferential treatment accorded to men.

  In Africa especially, when some Married Men are discussing issues about politics and their wives interrupt to make a point contrary to theirs, they feel so insulted, 'cos they don't expect their wives to have contrary views and if she does, she should keep it to herself.

My aim here is to write a post to show men we can think, we have our own views and we know what we want. So please, lets us speak like our counterparts in the western world.

The question is how to talk in a way that gets Men interested

Never raise your voice

Shouting at the top of your voice does not make anyone listen to you, learn to speak in a gentle manner

Never interrupt in a conversation you know nothing about

I know a few women who bump into conversation they know nothing about, be careful not to be tagged in this category of women

 

Be slow to speak 

When you know so much about a topic, don't speak in a hurry, make your comment and leave the guys to decide if you are indeed clever or not. You will be surprised that your opinion will be sought out next time. Good luck ladies

IT'S BEEN A WHILE LADIES, AM BACK WITH A BANG

I have missed the blog so much, having a regular job and blogging as well can be tedious, but I have decided to put in extra effort and blog at least five time a week. lets see if that is realizable. Have a September to remember.

Valentines gifts; A man's perspective (2)

Am tired of giving her so much every year and all I get is an insensitive gift. Yes, that's what men think in their hearts. You want him to buy you something expensive, so you can brag to your friends but you don't give him what cost you.

This year has to be different, give him something he would treasure. For those ladies who have been thinking of the best gifts to give this year, below are a list of things you can buy.

WATCHES

If your hubby is the geeky one, you are allowed to buy him a 'Casio' watch, try not to buy the cheap Casio watches that go for $10-15 on Amazon. there are some that sell for $100, endeavor to give him your best this year.

Dress watches are also very trendy, he would wear it everywhere, you can get him a Fossil or Michael Kors. If you don't want to go through the stress of checking amazon, you can check konga.com/o-o-gadgets

Blazers &Suits

For the ladies whose hubby's are fashionistas, check kimonokollection and olumurewa on Instagram, I don't  know how affordable they are but they sell beautiful blazers and suits.

SHOES

Most guys like shoes, you can hardly see a man who isn't particular about his shoes. To get very good shoes, check 6pm.com, zappos.com, you can buy directly from these websites with your GTBmastercard or UBAmastercard. All you have to do is select what you want, pay with your card then use the cargo company's address in the US. Some people are not comfortable using their cards, you can tell the cargo company to procure for you. You can check shoptomydoor.com for my information.

You can also buy good shirts from Tmlewin.com and Asos.com with your Gtb mastercard. For ladies who don't want the stress of cargo companies, you can buy cufflinks, perfumes or even take the Mr. out for dinner.

Do you have a contrary view or share the same view as mine, Thoughts?

xoxo

shadesandseasons

Valentine Gifts...Books, Laptops,Flowers,Designer Clothes or Shoes

Valentine is around the corner, what would you love to receive from the Mr.? Some women would probably want some designer clothes or shoes.

Tips for the Mr.

 

Checkout c21stores.com, you can get some Prada for as low as $300, just in time for Valentine before they get sold out. For those who cant afford a whopping $300 for Prada, You can check www.dsw.com for great finds like the BCBGeneration Darron Pump that is an imitation of the popular Valentino  Rockstud Pumps. Enough of all the American thingy. Not all guys want to go through the stress of checking a website and wait for days to get the item delivered to them in Nigeria.

    You can get unique and affordable jewellery at Trinkets&treasures, their Instagram page- trinketsndtreasures. For affordable dresses check out debrasgrace,maisondehelen on Instagram and even the popular jumia.com.ng

    For the geeky ladies who are obsessed with Computers, there was this Asus laptop that was selling at a ridiculous price on black Friday in November. its very  handy so, Mr, you can go for that ,its available in computer village, obviously it can't  be N20,000 but it would probably be below N50,000. But if you are not willing to splurge, you can buy the complete season one of Silicon Valley or Orange is the New Black. I hope she likes it.

And for the ladies who love a good book, you can buy her Chimamanda Adichie's Half of a Yellow Sun or Sefi Attah's Everything Good Will Come.

Ladies do you want him to splurge this year or you want him to save. Thoughts?

xoxo

shadesandseasons

30+...Single, Successful but Unmarried

Looking back over the years, most single ladies in their 3os would never have thought they would ever ask the question "When would I ever walk down the aisle". Its a question so many women ask me and I tell them wait for God's time, yes some of you will say don't go all church all on me, say something else. Alright, I will. Ladies, it might actually be the drab clothes you wear all year, I said might, not all women are in this category. Now to the drab clothes, all you need is a change of wardrobe. Get yourself some beautiful clothes, mix and match them properly. wear some heels girl, it doesn't have to be 5inches, get some 3inches, it builds the confidence in you.
 You don't have to buy expensive clothes, there are dresses from low-end stores that everybody can afford, all you have to do is combine it well, then you look good. Like I said earlier, its not all about the clothes, for some women its the attitude, you are successful, live in your own apartment, drive an expensive car, wear trendy clothes, yet no man even says hi to you. What exactly is wrong?Well, take a second look at yourself. There is probably this guy you look at disdainfully. Yes, we know, he is a mechanic; that's mean of me to say, lets say he earns a quarter of what you earn in a year. Are you seriously going to walk away from the man who might be your spouse because of what he earns. Have you taken out time to chat him up, get to know more about him or do you want to stay single all your life. its a stalemate, the choice is yours.
For some, you are probably not positioning yourself in the right place. Don't lock yourself in your room all weekend, go out more, have fun, make new friends, meet people. Your partner might be lurking in the shadows somewhere. Lets take the bull by the horn ladies, if you wanna stay single all your life, that's fine but you can change it. Good luck in your affairs.
 Thoughts?
xoxo
shadesandseasons

Women...this is for US.

Yay! its finally here. Shades and Seasons is finally up and I don't know what to write. Its great when the opportunity to pen down your thoughts is availed to you and you use it judiciously. This blog is going to focus more on women; our pains, our tears, our joys, everything on women. So sit, read and share your thoughts. 

Have a lovely day ladies.